Best Funny Jokes For Kids

1.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Blah blah blah blah 

Blah blah blah blah who?

What a chatterbox!

2.

Knock, knock.  

Who’s there?  

Nunya

Nunya who?

Nunya business

3.

What did the chocolate covered cockerel  shout every morning?

Choc-a-doodle-do!

4.

How do you make a chocolate milk shake?

Give it a fright!

5.

What do elves learn at school?

The elf-abet!

6.

Teacher: What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age?

Student: The saus-age!

7.

What do you get if you cross a green giant with a fountain pen?

The Ink-credible Hulk!!!

8.

What did the skunk say after he found out that he had failed his test?

“This stinks!”

9.

On which day do giants eat people?

On CHEWSDAY!

10.

What is a giant’s favourite game?

Swallow the leader!

11.

Grandma wanted to visit her daughter who lived in Australia. She rang the airline and asked how long it would take.

“Just a minute” came the reply. ”

really? I thought it would take longer than that!“ said grandma.

12.

Teacher: What do we call the outer part of a tree?

Student: Don’t know, miss.

Teacher: Bark, silly, bark!

Student: Woof, woof!

13.

What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?

A walkie-talkie!

14.

How do you find your lost pet monkey?

Hide in a tree and make a noise like a banana.

15.

Waiter, what is this fly doing in my soup?

I think it’s doing breaststroke sir!

16.

Waiter, there’s a grasshopper in my soup!

Yes, sir, it’s the fly’s day off!

17.

What do insects learn at school?

Mothamatics!

18.

What do you call a swarm of monster bees?

Zombees!

19.

Where did the spaghetti go to dance?

At the meat ball!

20.

What do you call a fairy that hasn’t taken a bath?

Stinkerbell

21.

What do you give a sick parrot?

A tweetment!

22.

What has a bottom at it’s top?

A leg!

23.

What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea?

Bugs bunny!

24.

What is brown and sticky?

A stick!

25.

What did one pea say to the other pea?

How are you doing, old bean?

26.

Why was the knight afraid of the bug?

Because it was a dragonfly!

27.

Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket?

Because grasshoppers can play cricket, but crickets can’t play grasshopper!

28.

what did one flea say to the other when they were on the dogs back?

I’ll hang around here fur a while, you go on a head!

29.

What did the spider say to the fly?

We are getting married-do you want to come to the webbing?

30.

Why did the boy that doesn’t usually wear glasses wear glasses to maths class?

It helps di- vision.

31.

What is the difference between a fly and a bird?

A bird can fly, but a fly can’t bird

32.

Did you hear about the to the silkworms you had a race?

It ended in a tie

33.

Why don‘t bugs have bad breath?

Because they use moth- wash!

34.

What do witches eat on Halloween?

Spooketti and boo- berry pie!

35.

Why wasn’t there any food left after the witches party?

Because everyone was a goblin!

36.

How did the witch know it was exactly twelve midday?

She used her witch watch!

37.

What which is good when it’s dark?

A light switch!

38.

What does a witch get if she is a poor traveller?

Broom- sick!

39.

Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?

Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

40.

Why are witch is good at English?

Because they are brilliant at spelling!

41.

What do you give a witch at teatime?

A cup and a sorcerer!

42.

What has webbed feet and fangs?

Count quackula!

43.

What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?

A Mouseketeer!

44.

What is the biggest mouse in the world?

A hippopotamouse!

45.

What is the biggest mouse in the world?

A hippopotamouse!

46.

What does an Australian witch ride on?

A broomerang!

47.

What does minimum mean?

A very small mother!

48.

What do you call a number on a hike?

A roamin’  numeral!

49.

Son: Mum, I feel as sick as a dog!

Mum: Oh dear, I’d better call the vet!

50.

Why was the Egyptian girl worried?

Because her daddy was a mummy!

51.

Son: why have you got a lightbulb on your head?

Dad: i’m just trying to get some great ideas!

52.

What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

“ Time to go to sweep!”

53.

Where do werewolves go to become famous?

Howlywood!

54.

What do mermaids put on their toast?

Mermalade!

55.

What music do balloons hate?

Pop music!

56.

What music do knights like?

Heavy metal!

57.

What is grey and hairy and lives on a man’s face?

A mousetache!

58.

How do you make the number one disappear?

Add a “g” and it’s  “gone”!

59.

What music do knights like?

Heavy metal!

60.

What did the flour say to the bread?

I saw you yeasterday.

61.

Why does Mr Toast hate driving?

He always gets in a jam.

62.

What do chickens grow on?

Eggplants!

63.

What do you call a triangle that looks like a puppy?

Acute triangle!

64.

Where do polar bears keep their money?

In a snow bank

65.

Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?

Because she’s always running away from the ball!

66.

Why did the teddy bear not ask for dessert?

Because he was already so stuffed!

67.

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

They go to the moo-vies!

68.

What kind of room doesn’t have doors?

A mushroom!

69.

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Hatch.

Hatch who?

Bless you!

70.

 Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, cold out here!

71.

What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

Thunderwear

72.

What does the ocean do when it sees its friends?

It waves!

73.

How do you get a squirrel to like you?

Act like a nut.

74.

How do you make an octopus laugh?

With ten-tickles!

75.

What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.

76.

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck!

77.

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven eight nine.

78.

What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon.

79.

What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?

Ouch!

80.

Why did the snake cross the road?

To get to the other ssside.

81.

What kind of key opens a banana?

A mon-key!

82.

Why are fish so smart?

Because they live in schools.

83.

What is a monster’s favorite dessert?

I scream.

84.

What kind of shoes do robbers wear?

Sneakers.

85.

Where do vampires keep their money?

A blood bank

86.

What do you call a funny mountain?

Hill-arious

87.

What did the traffic light say to the car?

Look away, I’m about to change!

88.

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Do you smell carrots?

89.

What falls at the North Pole and never gets hurt?

Snow.

90.

What event do spiders love to attend?

Webbings

91.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him!

92.

What’s a banana peel’s favourite type of shoe?

Slippers!

93.

What did the big flower say to the little flower?

Hi, bud!

94.

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation.

95.

What did the little corn say to the mama corn?

Where is pop corn?

96.

What do Werewolves read at bedtime?

Hairy Tales

97.

What do you cakes and baseball have in common?

They both need a batter!

98.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because it wasn’t peeling well.

99.

Why did the student eat his homework?

Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

100.

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A stick.

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